November 23rd, 2018.

For those who don't know, I moved to Dallas in January this year [2018]. So I'd never had a Thanksgiving day. I knew it was celebrated and I knew what it was about, I liked the idea of having a day of the year where the motive of celebration is «To Be Grateful». Although, I was also the one who'd say: «You don't need a day to be grateful, you should be grateful every day» —and, it's not that I was wrong on that one but, I wasn't really seeing what Thanksgiving actually is for the ones who do celebrate it.

I've never been emotional towards holidays or traditions. I love them, I enjoy the celebration, but I never felt the emotion or connection that they're supposed to give you. Maybe because I lived with them since I was born and didn't get to see what it meant beyond the tradition. And maybe that's why living this day as a conscious woman allowed me to absorb it all in a different way.

It's been a rollercoaster of emotions, I've cried like I hadn't in months, I have laughed as I always do and then cry some more. I didn't know where this emotion was coming from because it's not sadness although it's overwhelming… but then I realized, today everyone in America is reminded to be grateful and this translates differently to every individual. That's where I was wrong when I thought it was a day where everyone was grateful.

What about the ones who think they have nothing to be grateful for? the ones who are reminded of what they had and lost? the ones who are reminded of what they used to be grateful for and can't find that in themselves even though it's there? or, the ones who forgot how to be grateful to themselves?

Today, everyone in America was reminded to be grateful, but grateful brings back different memories to every mind.

I think this is why this specific holiday has actually meant something to me. Everyone has different emotions and everyone is wearing them on their skin.

There’s vulnerability everywhere you go, there’s nostalgia, there’s anger, there’s sadness — but at the end there’s also love, there’s also accepting being in the same place after a long time, because even if you don’t talk, there’s a presence that can’t be ignored and a feeling that comes with it.

Seeing all these things as someone who’s not used to this tradition allowed me to see these moments. And even though my emotions have been all over the place, it has been as beautiful as it can be. I feel at peace and, at the end, I feel even more grateful than I was.

Maybe that’s what this day is supposed to do —to put every emotion on the table and have a feast until you have that satisfied smile because of how good it was.

At the beginning of this day I wasn’t thinking about posting about Thanksgiving because I didn’t celebrate Thanksgiving. Today, at 11:40 P.M. I'm writing this to say:

I’m grateful for every day, every situation and every struggle that took me here. I’m grateful for being blessed enough to experience a foreign tradition and feel it ‘mine’ somehow. I’m grateful because even when I’m not in the country I was born in, I’m a ride away from my family. I’m grateful for the way everyone I’ve met since I got here has embraced me and made me feel like home and I’m grateful for my old time friends that feel so close even though they’re miles away.

Today I’m beyond grateful for the man that stands next to me. One day wouldn’t be enough to thank because of him —hell, not even a life would —how could I thank enough for having someone who gives his best to others even when he’s at his worst? I’m grateful for waking up to a man who plays my favorite songs every morning, who grows daily, who pushes me to be better. A man who loves me, tells me he loves me and shows me he does every day. A man who, like every human on Earth, fucks up! But all I’ve seen is him growing out of each of them and doing better next time.

Today I’m grateful for having become the woman I am for so many reasons that they’d need their own post. But one of them is because without becoming who I am today, I would’ve never chosen nor even met him, and oh boy! Am I grateful for having met That Man!

And, to close this post, I want to thank Americans for celebrating a day where you get to be reminded of it all and still be grateful for everything.

Thank You!

♡